Chuckles ‘Round the World

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/chuckle/

~ Dedicated to all the fine blog folks I’ve met whose comments enlighten, encourage, and make me laugh! ~

🙂

Chuckle

Best part of day

Therapeutic humor

Brought by blog friends ’round the world lifts

Spirits

© R L Cadillac, 2017 ~ All rights reserved.

Image ~ Pixabay

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Table For One, Please

100 Word Wednesday: Week 14

 Image Credit: Anjo Beckers Photography

~~~

Douglas and I come to Ryan’s Best, weekly—occasionally more often, if he’s bent on telling me his latest genius idea, or to vent about whatever has him aggrieved.  Up or down, Douglas is loquacious; I suspect he’s bi-polar. 

Certainly he’s egocentric, narcissistic—though usually likeable.  He believes himself possessed of superb mental health…because his therapist finds him “fascinating”.

He talks on and on, and I employ my ability to appear engrossed while actually pondering a separate topic entirely—specifically the next table, the old gentleman always sitting alone.  Wondering if he’s lonely, heedful, I’m tempted to join him.

© R L Cadillac, 2017 ~ All rights reserved.

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From the Case Files of Detective Davy D

***Davy’s link:  https://davydblog.com/

Once upon a mystery,

A crime lacking finesse

Required solving-expertise:

Brit’s elite detective, Davy D.

Ever heroic, he answered call—

Though it meant a brief abandonment

Of his mistress, Poetry.

He set aside his pen, thesaurus,

Sharpened mind to glean obscure clues,

Proceeded to amber cordoned-off scene.

The body lay in ‘staged’ position

To suggest a suicidal fall—

Patently ridiculous,

Detective D was not amused.

Blood spatter in the wrong direction,

Bite marks far out of victim’s reach…

These he mutely noted with poker face.

Lovely lividity was also telling—

Suggested someone delayed reporting;

Perhaps guilty knowledge on the part of

Spouse who hadn’t ceased to pace.

Detective Davy took him aside:

“Sir, will you submit to queries here

Or shall I escort you to HQ?”

Sputtering, stuttering, the man replied

“Makes no difference, nothing to hide.”

Sweating, he turned for one last look

At crumpled form of once-loved bride—

“It didn’t have to happen this way,

I’d have let her go with the other guys…

Better them, than me, she’d come to despise.”

Detective Davy gave gentle wry smile—

“Love’s complicated, no matter the path,

Death’s road (he gestured to cold corpse)

Is merely a short rocky mile.”

~

So, what was resolution to curious case—

Malice murder, or maybe new “pop” defense?

I’d ask star detective the decision of jurist…

But investigation brilliant-done, he’s moved on.

Now he’s working out how to fit

‘Xylophone’ amid lines poetic.

© R L Cadillac, 2017 ~ All rights reserved.

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Who Put the Bop (NaPoWriMo 2017, Day 11)

http://www.napowrimo.net/day-eleven-5/

“…here’s our (optional) prompt for the day: the Bop. The invention of poet Afaa Michael Weaver, the Bop is a kind of combination sonnet + song. Like a Shakespearan sonnet, it introduces, discusses, and then solves (or fails to solve) a problem. Like a song, it relies on refrains and repetition. In the basic Bop poem, a six-line stanza introduces the problem, and is followed by a one-line refrain. The next, eight-line stanza discusses and develops the problem, and is again followed by the one-line refrain. Then, another six-line stanza resolves or concludes the problem, and is again followed by the refrain. Here’s an example of a Bop poem written by Weaver, and here’s another by the poet Ravi Shankar.”

Eeee-Yeah…with not the slightest disrespect to poets Weaver and Shankar, I don’t think I could compose a “bop” poem even if they paid me serious dough.  What did come immediately to mind were the following songs (partial compliance to the prompt: “bop”—song/sonnet combo).

As far as offering you a poem—which is the true and proper option during NaPoWriMo—I’ve failed the mission miserably today.  I hope the “old-timers” enjoy!

Who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop?  Barry Mann.

I’m on a roll–let’s DANCE!

© R L Cadillac, 2017 ~ All rights reserved.

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If James Lipton Might Interview R L Cadillac

This idea for a “fake interview” with BRAVO Channel’s James Lipton comes from a clever and talented blogger named Susan Shuman—click the link to read her “interview” and other posts:

IF James Lipton Had Interviewed Susan Shuman

James Lipton

Image Credit:  Bandit © 2017

~~~

James: Thank you so much for agreeing to the interview, as I’ve heard that you don’t give many.  Shall I call you “R L” or “Right Lane”—do you have a preference?

R L: You’re most welcome, James. I’m flattered by your interest, and you may call me “R L”.

James: So, it’s come to my attention that you’re a blog poet/author of some versatility who’s had upwards of 50—perhaps more—blogs, and used quite a number of creative pseudonyms.  Is there a particular reason for the changing identities?

R L: Well, the Internet world being both wonderful and strange, sometimes it’s beneficial to leave one neighborhood and join, or form, a new one.  It has much to do with my mercurial moods—if I’m depressed and restless, opening a fresh blog rejuvenates me.  It’s like getting a new home and decorating it, without spending a dime.  Much cheaper than actual shopping sprees…or therapy.  And there are a lot of characters renting space in my head, so… but to answer a frequent question of readers, no I’m not running from the Mob or the CIA.

James: Intriguing.  Well, let’s begin. “What is your least favorite word?”

R L: Oh my, it’s hard to choose—would you allow me a phrase?

James: Certainly.

R L: “It is what it is”.

James: What turns you on?

R L: Good literature, good films; funded programs which encourage youth, especially—but all ages—to find their creative niche.  Sharing about my experiences with the living God of the Bible…and penning more poems that recall my one-true-love.

James: What turns you off?

R L: Gratuitous vulgarity and violence, impotent bureaucracy, and the widespread injustice and virulent disparity practiced and accepted in our legal system.

James: What sound or noise do you love?

R L: The ocean very much, wind chimes and rain, and genuine joy-filled laughter.

James: What sound or noise do you hate?

R L: Anger, particularly expressed in loud cursing and vulgarity, threats and humiliations.

James: What is your favorite curse word?

R L: I’m a “church lady”, right?  So I might admit to cursing, but I can hardly offer up specifics, doncha know.

James: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

R L: There was a time when I wanted to teach… I might possibly like to be a Christian speaker, sharing encouragement through my testimony.  And I always dreamed of writing greeting card messages.  And cooking for the homeless or needy, a volunteer position—I’d truly enjoy that.

James: What profession would you not like to do?

R L: I couldn’t do any job where I’d be required to drive a vehicle; not factory work, or sales; nothing competitive, or stressful, like production work…or cleaning.  Absolutely nothing to do with animals or plants…and I’m not really good with people either, you know, more than the time it takes to serve up soup and casseroles, etc.

James:  So I gather that, other than your non-paying blog job, you are retired?

R L: Yes, I’m a retired recluse—well, I’m a recluse—I don’t imagine I’ll retire from that tenured position.

James:  You come across as extremely passionate, and with a lovely sense of humor—have you considered politics or comedy?

R L: Either would require resigning my recluse status, so I think not.

James: Alright, finally, “If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?”

R L: James, Heaven most surely does exist, and I know with absolute certainty that I’m headed there.  I think God will say, “Ohhh, there she is!  Just look at My darling girl, an Over-comer—such a delight!!”

~~~

© R L Cadillac, 2017 ~ All rights reserved.

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Memo to Moron

When the fairer sex

Take up pen, batten down, men;

Keep a strong squared chin…

Having accepted

“Men are deceitful, evil”

I was much dismayed

To read her update:  “Beyond

Stupid moronic cretins

You’re Dumber than Dirt!”

© R L Cadillac, 2017 ~ All rights reserved.

Image ~ Pixabay

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The Return of Beechum Vay

https://unchartedblogdotorg.wordpress.com/2017/03/01/welcome-to-six-sentence-story/  CUE:  RETURN

The return of Beechum Vay was a remarkable surprise to everyone, in view of how he’d left 15 years ago.

An odd man, Beechum was, nobody disagreed there—from his tuft of rust-colored hair, long skinny neck, Humpty Dumpty shape, to old-fashioned gaiters—and that was merely considering his appearance.

He’d been run out of town for questionable behavior with a minor—a spurious allegation at best, not prosecutable; but getting shut of not-like-us weirdos made mothers of minors feel better—and Beechum bid adieu without a fuss.

If nothing else, though, Beechum was a blessed and favored man:  the day he’d been invited to exit the county limits was also the day he’d won the Reader’s Digest Million-Dollar Sweepstakes—now he was back.

“Well, Beech, I see yer still kickin’,” his sister greeted him, “did you burn through all yer riches?”

“No, darlin’, I made a killing in the market and other assorted amazing investments, and I’m home; home as in, I’ve bought the whole dang town, Sister—hope ya didn’t give away my clothes.”

© R L Cadillac, 2017 ~ All rights reserved.

Image ~ Pixabay

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