The Wraith Poses Question

https://unchartedblogdotorg.wordpress.com/2017/04/19/welcome-to-six-sentence-stories-44/  Zoe’s Cue:  QUESTION

When the rain and thunder subsided on the day she found the small brass key, Zinnia, exhausted from her inner emotional storm, fell into a hard sleep on her lumpy sofa—only to be wakened at periwinkle dawn as the tap-tapping returned, along with strains of melody from the antique music box.

Weary to her marrow, she refused to open her eyes; perhaps if she learned to ignore the insanity which made up the ambiance of her new home, it might eventually disperse…slip out a partially opened window on the freshening April breeze.

But the tap-tapping increased in tempo, volume, and the music box tune began to sound familiar—could it really be “Recuerda Me” (Remember Me)?

The beautifully haunting love song’s plea—too recent to have been crafted with the antique box—played in stark contrast to the exigent tap-tapping; and yet, pondering the context, she perceived a possible…dizzying…connection.

Rising from the couch, walking toward the kitchen, she bumped her hip painfully against the bookcase—which caused the tap-tapping and music to cease abruptly.

Stifling a curse in the blessed silence, she realized her hip action had caused a bottom drawer to come unstuck, revealing a peek of folded onionskin stationery…Zinnia cautiously reached for it, smoothed it open, and read a single bold-typed question:  WHAT DO YOU SEEK?

© R L Cadillac, 2017 ~ All rights reserved.

Image ~ Pixabay

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27 thoughts on “The Wraith Poses Question

  1. The writing is excellent. “Periwinkle dawn”, “weary to the marrow” – and you manage to move the story in just the right way to keep our interest piqued.

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    • Hahahaha–I had it in, then cut it, as I figured I needed to save my word count! Also, I knew the “regulars” would probably remember she’s a Diet Coke addict 🙂 Thanks much for reading and commenting!

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  2. “What do you seek?” is such a powerful question! It should give us all a moment of pause to consider our won answer. You’ve done a fabulous job in building this scene with it’s repetitive tapping and music box that is slowly driving her crazy, and then silence when she inadvertently opens the drawer. Fascinating plot development… I want more, I am impatient! 🙂

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    • Ohhh, you’re a blessing, Josie!! Thanks for your wonderful compliments which encourage me in this little fictional work. I’m kind of glad it’s a weekly gig, otherwise I’d probably be writing 24/7 on it as a “novel”. Thanks again–I’ll be over to see your story soon 🙂

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  3. in agreement with the others, perfect balance of establishing a mood and still moving the story along. I am still working on the skills to allows a writer to tell the reader, ‘they felt this way about what they thought and as they did so, they were affected by a new event’. just like that, expect in a way thats engaging and doesn’t show
    am enjoying the story.

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    • Thanks Clark! I find it challenging–the “show, don’t tell” storytelling aspect–still working on it, myself… The other challenge with a serial, is the need to repeat a bit of info each week–both for new readers, and for “regulars” to remember 🙂

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  4. You are so excellent at this! And the cliffhanger is perfect too! You have me there and imagining what Zinnia is going through with so many mysterious circumstances happening!

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  5. The mystery continues. I recognize the pain that comes from bumping ones hip on the corner of furniture or a counter. Ouch! That must have been quite a bump to cause the bottom drawer to become unstuck. There was a time one could buy the onionskin stationery, even scented onionskin stationery. It was great if you wanted to write a long letter to someone and wanted to save postage. I’m looking forward to the next segment.

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    • You’re so right, Pat! Any kind of bump like that hurts! And I remember that stationery, and the fact that I wrote LONG letters, so was always looking to save postage 🙂 🙂 Thanks much for reading, see you soon 🙂

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